Reflection on Belonging: The Community Our Pets Create

When I think about belonging, I often return to the dogs who have shared life with my family. We have always treated our pets as members of the family—not just companions, but trusted friends who shape our daily lives and our sense of community. This past week, when Jessie’s dog Chloe passed away, I was reminded again of just how much love they give us, and how that love forms the heart of belonging.

Chloe’s story is a familiar one to many of us who have adopted animals. Marion brought her home from a shelter in 2015. From that moment, she became part of a wider circle of love—moving between Jessie’s home, our home, and even spending months with my son Sam. Each time she reunited with Jessie, Sam, or any one of us, she spun her tail in that joyful helicopter circle, a signal that said, You are part of my community, and I am glad to see you.

That’s the gift of our pets: they don’t just form a bond with one person, they weave us together. Because Chloe loved Jessie, Sam, Marion, me, and so many others, she connected us to one another more deeply. We were all part of Chloe’s circle, and through her, part of each other’s. When I walk with Blueberry, or when Penny rests by Marion’s side, I feel that same truth: pets don’t only belong to individuals—they build networks of care, trust, and joy that pull families, friends, and even neighbors into community.

Chloe carried that same spirit of welcome forward into the next generation. When Neal came into Jessie’s life, Chloe greeted him as family right from the start. And when Calvin was born, she extended that same unconditional love to him as well—folding him into her circle just as naturally as she had done with the rest of us. In Chloe’s eyes, family was never fixed; it grew and expanded with every new bond of love.

This is what belonging looks like when lived out. It is not a possession or a status, but a relationship that widens and includes. Our pets remind us that belonging is most powerful when it is shared, when it stretches across households, when it welcomes in friends, children, visitors, and caretakers. In this way, they create small communities around themselves—little ecosystems of love and connection that make us whole.

In our Unitarian Universalist tradition, we often speak of the interdependent web of existence. Our pets live this truth daily. They teach us how to welcome without hesitation, how to forgive quickly, and how to create circles of belonging that hold more than just ourselves.

As we grieve Chloe, I also feel gratitude. Gratitude for the way she knit our family together. Gratitude for the way she loved not just Jessie, but all of us. Gratitude for the way her presence reminded us that community is not only built by intention—it can be built by love that spreads outward, tail wag by tail wag.