Each month, a member of the board will share a reflection on the Soul Matters monthly theme. The theme for December is Mystery. This month’s post is offered by Board Vice President, Shelley Buss. 

The Gift of Mystery: When I started college, I was going to be a doctor. I took biology, chemistry, and a bunch of other classes, assuming that “head down, study hard” was going to keep working like it did in high school. Then came Sr. Dunstan’s first biology test. I think I bombed it because I misidentified amoeba slides. And in my 18 year old brain, I thought that was the dumbest thing in the world, so what did I do? I switched majors to something that wasn’t so black and white; that didn’t rely on memorizing all that boring esoteric stuff. I went with Philosophy. Yes- discussions and arguments and interpretations. Nothing esoteric there, right? That was the study of mystery; all the giant WHY questions. I can’t tell you how many nights I never went to bed because I was busy postulating and proselytizing with my friends and classmates. I loved it. The gift of those mysteries was thinking that we were all so darn smart with 2 decades of experience under our belts and half-baked brains.

Interestingly enough, there weren’t any jobs for philosophers in the Twin Cities after I graduated, so I replaced the lively conversation time with more material matters like working, working overtime, paying off student loans, and scrimping and saving for small vacations.  Fast forward to today. I can hopefully count the years until retirement on just 1 hand, am slowing down, but am also finding a renewed interest in those great mysteries I was trying to tackle 40 years ago. And I’m also realizing that I’ve been finding the answers to them in how I’ve lived my life. Why are we here? I don’t know, but I do know that raising my kids to be decent humans and helping others makes my heart swell and I couldn’t be happier.

The gift within mysteries is that they can coax more out of you than you could have expected. Some of the biggest crap-burger mysteries to invade my life have been the launching pad for bigger and better things. Were they enjoyable? Oh hell no, but they moved me forward and made me better; they cracked my shell. The big bonus is when the whys are no longer the important part of the discussion.  Instead, the gift is having built strength and confidence through facing the unknown, and finding nuances to your story in ways you’d never expect. Mysteries aren’t to be faced alone. People will rise up to support and help you, to share the pleasures and joys, or to simply sit in silence with you.

They say a journey isn’t about the destination but rather about the path it takes to get there.  Mysteries fill our lives and can be great motivators to stop and talk stock. Feel gratitude for where you are and how far you’ve come. Acknowledge when you’ve been able to convert personal pain from a mystery into healing energy for yourself and others who may face the same challenge. Express gratitude for the people who share the path and bring comfort, as well as for those paths and relationships from which you’ve graduated and put in the rear-view mirror.

We’re entering the season of light over coming darkness. Illumination pushing back the shadows. But there are still delights in the shadows, and disappointments in broad daylight. Accept and meet the world where it is at the moment. Find baby steps for the journey. Your destination will come and lead you to the next of many journeys.  

— Shelley Buss

UUCM Board of Trustees Vice President