Each month, a member of the board will share a reflection on the Soul Matters monthly theme. The theme for January is Liberating Love. This month’s post is offered by Emily Rosengren. 

When I was 27 years old, I was presented with the opportunity to correspond with my biological mother. I was two weeks old when I was adopted by my parents, who always modeled profound appreciation for the unknown woman who gave birth to me. The “opportunity” came to me in the form of a letter from the adoption agency, and the first people I shared it with were my parents. My biological mother’s wish to establish contact filled me with uncertainty. Who was this person? Was she safe? What might she want from me? What if the circumstances of my birth were fraught with pain and unrelenting heartache–what would I do with that knowledge? Above all, was I ready to take this chance? The whole thing felt like reality television, not my actual life.

I am ferociously loyal to my parents, and as we talked through my fears, I listened carefully for any warnings or hesitations that would have indicated reluctance or reservation. But my parents never wavered. They gave me their full support–their love freed me to pursue a relationship with someone they could have perceived as a threat. As my Mom said at the time, “You’re the only one who didn’t know what they were getting into!” That one moment gave me the permission I needed to move forward.

It’s been almost 20 years since we all made room for Joy (yes, that’s actually her name) in our lives. Interwoven throughout our shared story is the theme of liberating love. Joy’s deliberate choice to place me for adoption–a journey that was difficult and painful but one she didn’t have to make alone–came from a place of liberating love. Similarly, the liberating love my parents demonstrated for me through their steady support gave me the courage to pursue a friendship with Joy that has revealed itself to be deeply rooted in mutual respect. Because I met Joy, I have extended my family to include biological sisters, grandparents, aunts, uncles (all of whom had been loving me from afar since I was born), and too many cousins for me to name. This expansion was not just numerical; it brought a new dimension of love and connection into my life. 

What does liberating love ask of us? It requires us to take leaps of faith, extend ourselves to others, adjust to redefined realities, and see ourselves anew. In my case, love, in its various forms, has liberated and transformed my life. Even in the face of the unknown, there is freedom in embracing the journey of connection and self-discovery.

— Emily Rosengren

UUCM Board of Trustees